I am old-fashioned. Functions of this personality trait point to my 1950s living room set, my inability to properly use a cell phone and general anxiety when there are more than five new emails in my inbox. Professionally, it gets a bit more complicated: in an industry that has changed so much in the last ten years with most photographers choosing to “go digital” I have not only chosen to “stay traditional” but, upping the ante a bit, exclusively use a camera that was widely used in the 1950s and 60s. The old lens, heavy body and unique frame are perfectly romantic ways for couples to remember perfectly romantic weddings. This particular apparatus, a twin-lens reflex, is good for making eye contact with subjects while taking the picture. It’s a great conversation starter when I’m getting to know clients for the first time. When I really got to thinking about it, though, I decided my favorite feature of this camera is this: the pictures it takes are square, perfectly proportioned photographs with totally equal sides.
How appropriate, then, my ears, eyes and heart have been turned to an area of our culture (and my occupation) where equal sides do not exist. An oversight, I hoped, by our modern culture that has overcome discrimination towards marriages based on race, religion, creed, or color. Still somehow there are scores of Americans limited by archaic laws and half-compromises across the country because, actually, the church and the state have snuggled up inextricably despite their original intention to “just be friends.”
Because I am traditional to a fault, I believe marriage should be a lasting commitment, complete with setbacks, struggles and so much communication that your voice box gets sore. I also believe that anyone, male or female, straight or not, is capable of and entitled to this kind of love. I have watched (and documented) my fair share of weddings: young and old, shy and outgoing, funny and serious, religious and non-secular, straight and gay. At every one I am always struck by the uniqueness of the couples, their individual personalities and the way they change for the better when they come together. This observation and admiration comes independent of their ability to fulfill what the bible and some churches require for their commitment to be a “real” marriage.
I have no ultimate answers – and I am by no means a politician. My voice comes out on the matter as just one of many, many people in our state and in our country who support rights for everyone so that the political and cultural picture will soon have equal sides, too.
